The Canterlotians
by Paranoid-American20
Summary: All Lyra really wants is peace, and to not really be involved in the ongoing war between Equestria and the Changelings. But, unfortunately, her plan to get out of it ends up getting in danger as an angry group of Canterlotians seek her out. See how this comedy unfolds, and see if Lyra ever gets the peace see demands. Rated T for language, references and character behaviour.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

It was early on in what would be a warm day that will overhang the imperial city of Canterlot, the gleaming capital of the Equestrian nation. The city was just starting to become bustling with awake ponies, all in the shadow of the castle of Celestia, and rumour and gossip started flitting lazily to and fro the inhabitants. Nothing really new, everything amiss but unnoticed. It is in this atmosphere in Canterlot that our story takes place.

In Canterlot, there lies a large and simple looking building, all white with a golden roof, known as the General Assembly Hall of the Masses, in which the common Canterlot and further Equestrian can argue and debate any situations that are going on at the moment.

Inside the hall, all but one of the tiered seats are empty. The only occupied one is held by a mint green unicorn mare, one that has a golden lyre as a cutie mark. As such, her name is Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings.

Lyra waits for a patient minute or two, her large eyes fixed upon the centre of the hall, where the main speakers will eventually began to spew forth their nonsense. However, once that fleeting moment of patience is gone, our heroine glance around, once, twice, and even a third time. Just looking to see if she really was the only pony there. Indeed, she was. She begins to fidget, squirming in her seat, pushing her hooves against the seat in front of her, sitting in a new position and, when that doesn't work, reverting back to her original seating arrangement.

Eventually, after what seems a short lifetime to her, or about ten minutes in reality, she yawns, and begins to speak, to nopony in particular.

"So...you're all probably wondering why I'm sat here, all alone, when I could be back home with my Bon-Bon. Well, let me tell you something," She sighs after that, and rests her head in her hooves, before speaking again, saying;

"My heart, my large, friendly heart has taken a large drink from the cup of woes, and there are few joys for me these days that I've know recently," she pauses, and muses for a second, "Yeah...very few..." She pauses again at that, and slowly begins to tap a hoof on the seat in front of her, until finally,

"Ah! Six joys I've known recently, against countless millions and millions of things that are wearing my heart right down these days...Wait a minute, what were those joys that I really found pleasurific, and really enjoyed?" She thinks for a brief moment, before leaping to her hooves, almost triumphant that she remembered at all.

"Oh yeah, I remember! It really warmed my heart when I read that Prince Blueblood finally coughed up those forty-thousand bits that he owed the treasury, and then almost got taken out by an exploding ice sculpture! Ha! That had me and Bon-Bon in stitches. I'd like to thank the guards that pursued him for that; I was a truly lovable service they did for Equestria, wasn't it? Almost makes me wish I wasn't tied to loving mares instead of stallions. Almost." She stops what she's saying, and the smile that had grown on her face began to rapidly diminish, and her shoulders began to slouch as she remembered, and she collapsed back into her seat, a hoof raised to her forehead in shock.

"Oh Celestia...but then that happened...I'm still traumatised by it, and that's with out calling it terribly tragic to say the least." A pause, just while she tries to regain some of her composure. "I was sat in the auditorium, ears wide open for a subtle dose of Octavia's classic version of Beethooven's Ninth Symphony, and then...Oh Luna...that announcer, she goes 'And now presenting Vinyl Scratch's latest recording of _Scary Mares and Nice Stallions'. _Bleh! Well, you can very near imagine the almost total heart failure that it caused me."

She stretched her front hooves out, and yawned again.

"But then...Another thing that made me really happy, and I mean _really _happy was when Mayor Mare, back in home proper in Ponyville, finished giving a really inane speech, and then Pinkie Pie came on at the end to tell jokes and make us all laugh! Heh heh...Oh, but that was last month...When you compare this month to last, it feels as if I'm getting turned in to a cupcake! I mean, both Mayor Mare and even Twilight seem a bit droning this time. Wait...Twilight's started to look different recently...She might have put weight on or something...But I do love what she's done with the library. Totally needed a makeover."

A sigh, and she continues, "But never...never in all the years I've...I've sat upright have I been so inflicted by pain as I'm feeling right now! The regular meeting of this assembly, you know, the one that happens every week, and due to start as soon as Celestia raises the sun, and not a single soul down on the debating floor! I bet everypony's down at the market, gossiping as usual, and avoiding this place as if somepony's snuck a manticore in here. I mean, really...The main speakers aren't even here yet! I just know they'll come, eventually, many hours late, mind you, all streaming in like a mass of ants, pushing and shoving for the good seats, followed by the snooty rich ponies, who have already called dibs on the best seats down on the debating floor itself, and then the debaters will finally show their faces, despite spending the previous hours swigging cider and such! I mean, that's all they really care about, other than themselves. Certainly not the subject matter," She stood again, stretched her hooves out once more, and declared:

"How to get peace! Damn fools here don't even care about that. Oh Canterlot, Oh Equestria, what are you coming to? Now me, I always get here first, at least when I haven't had a long night drink strong cider with Bon-Bon and Derpy...anyway, so I sit down, and after a bit, when I finally discover that no pony else is going to come, I sigh, I yawn and stretch and lewdly fantasize about my marefriend, and then I don't really know what to do next so...so then I trace patterns on the floor, comb my mane or count and tap to myself...and all the time, I look out that window-" she points a hoof at the large window that casts natural light down to the depths of the hall, "and I find myself gazing at the rich countryside out there and I find myself pining for a final grasp at peace, cursing this damnable city and yearning to drag myself and my love back to my little town of Ponyville." Her voice grows louder, and she laments, "Ah, my beautiful jewel of Ponyville! A place where nopony said, 'Buy my swords' or 'Buy my bonds' or even 'Buy my Apple Oil'; we didn't even know what any of those things were until this nonsense started. I mean, we were a peaceful town, making happiness and smiles for everypony, sustaining ourselves. We were a War-Free zone; a rare distinction in the world these days, and now, there are ponies that want to turn my little town into a paragon of darkness and misery, all due to this cursed war!" She sighs, and slumps down in her seat, sounding slightly defeated at it all.

"Well, this time...this time I've come prepared." A cruel smile begins to grow across her face, and, sounding confident and assured, says, "If any speaker dares, and I mean, _dares_ say a single utterance about anything except peace, I'll scream, I'll heckle, I'll yell 'murder' I'll -"

Suddenly, the large wooden and golden doors to the Assembly Hall flew open, and a mass, shapeless at first, but soon taking the shape of jostling and snapping ponies, each one pushing past the others, fighting for seats. As soon as they died down and began to settle, members of Canterlot's upper-class, headed by Fancy-Pants and Fleur Dis Lee, and they gracefully took their reserved seats down at the debating floor, just as Lyra said. Soon, almost a couple of minutes later, the speakers themselves arrived, flanked by armour wearing guards, each speaker distinguished by the white robes, red ties and white facial makeup that each one wore.

Lyra felt traumatized, having been forced past by several dozen earth-ponies, five pegasi, each on dripping with rain, fresh off the clouds, and finally two unicorns, and maybe a Diamond Dog. Heck, anything could have gone past her, and she couldn't have known due to the speed of which they did.

As the Debaters settled themselves, talking about what they would do as soon as this had finished, a large, portly earth-pony marched in, closing the large doors after her. Lyra didn't know her name, but she knew her role. She was the same announcer that announce Vinyl last month.

The Announcer stumbles her way down the steps to the floor, and takes her place before the head speaker, before announcing to the gathered crowd, "Come forward, all those present! Come forward all! Everypony has the right to speak, so come forward!"

"Oh, this will be good," muttered Lyra, as the first speaker stood to address his peers.

Suddenly, however, those large wooden and gold doors slammed open, and every eye snapped to the shadowy figure that stood in the doorway.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The shadow in the doorway stayed there only momentarily, before it darted into the Hall, slamming the doors as it fled.

There was a murmur of concern rising amongst the ponies, which Lyra ignored, choosing instead to try and locate who, or what had entered in with them. Thankfully, she didn't have long to wait, as there was almighty crash next to her, which very nearly frightened her out of her mint green skin.

Suddenly, there was a mauve coloured pegasus next to her, with neon yellow hair and almost luminous green eyes. He had a ridiculous smile plastered on his face, and his tongue was slightly stuck out. It took a second for Lyra to notice that this weird pegasus was clad in a light grey sort of tabard, with a large red smiling pony printed onto it. He had obviously rushed to get here, at least more so than the actual debaters, as he was very out of breath, bent double, and panting through his smile and stupid sticking out tongue.

Lyra just sat there, staring at the newcomer, when he turned slightly to her, and said, "Hey...Have they started talking...yet? Whew! Just flew here...all the way from...Prance...I mean, who knew Canterlot was...so far away, eh?"

Lyra continued to stare for a few more moments, before saying to him, "Er, no, they haven't started yet. Only just arrived, like you."

"Ah, good! So I'm not late. That makes a change."

None of the other ponies had noticed him, and the talk spurred on by his entrance had died down after a couple of minutes. Soon, the Announcer was back talking; "All right, now, for the first piece on the agenda -" She was cut off by the strange pegasus.

"Wait! I need to-ack!" he'd tripped over the steps as he had rushed down to the debating floor, and began to fall head first down, until he eventually came to rest at the hooves of the announcer, who just looked at him like he was a stray dog that had just wandered in, and not an extremely weird pegasus. Once more, all eyes in the hall were upon his dazed form.

"And who wishes to speak first?" She was glaring at him with a raw and dangerous form of contempt.

The pegasus just continued to lie there for a few more moments, before attempting to raise himself to his unsteady hooves. The first four attempts failed, but on the fifth attempt, he finally managed to stand eye level with the large and, by that point, extremely angry announcer. Lyra could also see the debaters themselves were beginning to grow annoyed, and she knew this was because the antics of the silly pegasus was detracting from their own stage time.

"I...I do...I wish to speak…" His face warped from the dazed and dim expression back to the smiling and dim expression.

"And what is your name?" Lyra could almost hear the announcer spit the words, her patience already stretched for anything that wasn't an earth-pony, and being stretched even further by an idiot.

"My name is Babieca, the Divine!" At that last exclamation, he raised himself into the air with his crooked wings, and a hint of smugness began to creep into the smile. A wave of murmuring began to run through the gathered crowd, spreading like wildfire, trying to discern what he meant by that.

However, the announcer was unmoved by his declaration. "So, not a regular pony then?"

"Nope," he fell back down to the ground with a loud _thud,_ and sat back on his hind legs, and began to count on his hooves. "You see, I'm immortal! You see, my great ancestor and original namesake was born three-hundred years ago, the colt of Llamrei, immortal queen of the empire of Canterbury, and Marengo, a prince from Old Prance. My namesake ancestor then had Rocinante, who married Tencendur -who's my grandmare, and she had had Palomo, who bore triplets named Boxer, Mollie and Clover, and then Mollie had me and my younger brother Bucephalus, and that makes me an immortal. Plus, my first cousin thrice removed is the Mad Emperor Incitatus, Emperor of the Roamans, who has claimed divinity, so that strengthens my claim." The whole hall went deathly silent, and they all just stared at Babieca, who stood there as smug as a pony could ever be. The he continued;

"And I have been sent here, by commission of an alliance in the Occident of Equestria's allies, to have you lot make peace with the Changelings - and they have only allowed me to do so!" He seemed so proud at that, but Lyra sense that he didn't exactly grasp the personalities of the ponies that he had been sent to get peace from.

Babieca sighed, and finally finished what he was saying with, "But...even being the incredibly intelligent immortal that I am, my pony peers, I have been given no expenses whatsoever! I mean, the chief speakers back won't let me have them! Can you believe it?"

While the foolish Babieca was rambling, the Head of the Debate, distinguished from the other speakers by his hat that was twice as tall as the other speakers hats, made a simple hoof gesture to the announcer, who, upon seeing it, allowed a smile to inch its way across her large face, and called out,

"Guards! Take this stupid imposter from the hall! He's ruining our agenda!"

And with that, two muscular, mean looking guards grabbed the blabbering pegasus by his wings, and dragged him out a side entrance, with Babieca kicking and yelling the whole way. He was yelling, "Marengo and Rocinante! Why don't you help your descendant now? Wait, why are you taking me outside? What's the meaning of th-" His face connecting with the cold street outside finally managed to shut him up, at least for now. The two guards silently moved back to their original position, flanking the announcer, who had watch the whole spectacle with a smug grin on her face.

Lyra suddenly felt angry, and couldn't resist standing up and calling out, "Hey! Debaters! The removal of that idiot messenger is a direct insult to this assembly and all the rights Celestia has granted us with its use! All he wanted was to give us a nice peace so we could finally set our paranoia and darkness back to the depths of our minds, locked away from whence they came! Is that too much to ask?"

All the announcer replied with was, "Silence! Sit down or you'll join him!" That threat was accompanied with several jeers, snide agreements and cheering from the common masses around Lyra, and clapping from the rich ponies and debaters alike. None wanted to hear about Peace today.

"No! I most certainly will not, definitely not until the debaters allow us to debate on Peace with the Changelings!" Lyra stood confident, until two rough sets of hooves grabbed her by the shoulders, and shoved her back into her seat, and the announcer, as well as everypony else just ignored the peace obsessed unicorn.

Lyra could only look on, gobsmacked, as the announcer, and the debaters continued with the agenda that they wanted.


End file.
